Once, a woman told me she wasn’t going to rejoin the networking group we both belonged to because she hadn’t received any referrals.
It was a weekly, in-person group—a lovely gathering of men and women entrepreneurs with local businesses. It was fun, filled with collaboration, friendships, and laughter. I enjoyed her company and was sad to see her go.
But want to know what else made me sad—and still does to this day? She abandoned a group she enjoyed simply because she didn’t get any referrals.
As the founder of Virtual Networkers, and throughout my own adventures in networking, I’ve seen this time and time again. A woman joins a networking group, expecting referrals to flow in. But when those referrals don’t come quickly enough, she leaves, thinking the experience wasn’t worth her time or investment. And every time I see this, I think—she’s missing the whole point.
Networking isn’t a vending machine. It’s not a place where you insert your money and instantly get referrals. If you’re only showing up with a “referral or bust” mindset, you’re limiting yourself to a narrow view of what networking can offer—and that narrow view robs you of the real gifts that come from building connections and community.
The True ROI of Networking—Relationships, Growth, and Sisterhood
I am on a mission to disrupt how women entrepreneurs network, and it starts with a mindset shift. Here’s the question I ask:
What if, instead of focusing on referrals, we focused on relationships?
In a community like Virtual Networkers, the real ROI isn’t in referrals; it’s in the friendships and support that lift you up on your toughest days. It’s in the mentors and guides who share their expertise, the accountability partners who keep you on track, and the cheerleaders who celebrate every win—no matter how small.
What if, instead of counting referrals, you counted the incredible women you’ve met? The ones who inspire you to keep going. The ones who push you to grow in ways you never imagined. These relationships become the foundation of a network that supports you not just as a businesswoman but as a whole person.
Because that’s what sisterhood is. And the sisterhood you build in an authentic, supportive networking group isn’t just a side benefit—it’s the whole point.
Shifting Your Focus to Real Success
When we let go of the transactional mindset, we open ourselves up to something much richer. That’s when networking becomes transformative. Sure, referrals may come your way—and they often do! But by shifting your focus to connection and collaboration, you create a network of allies who genuinely want to see you succeed.
Think of it this way: Your business will flourish not just because of the number of referrals you receive, but because of the support and guidance you gain from your network. You’ll have a sisterhood that stands by you, cheers you on, and even challenges you to become the entrepreneur you’re meant to be.
And this is exactly the philosophy behind Virtual Networkers. We’re not here to be a vending machine of referrals. We’re here to build a community of women who uplift and empower each other—women who understand that success isn’t measured by referrals alone, but by the depth of the relationships and support we cultivate.
My Wish for You
No matter where you network—even if it’s not with Virtual Networkers—my wish for you is twofold:
- Abandon the “referrals or bust” mindset, and instead, prioritize relationships and community.
- Find a networking group that fosters this mentality, so you have the support system you need to build your business (and yourself).
That’s the point of networking. That’s the way it’s supposed to work. And that’s what you deserve!
