Does the idea of networking feel out of sync with who you are? Do traditional networking events leave you feeling drained and unfulfilled?

I recently participated in a LinkedIn conversation with a woman entrepreneur who described networking as “icky,” mostly because she was tired of the forced referral model and getting badgered to join someone’s team. Her experience felt misaligned with her values and energy.

I get it. I networked for years and then stopped, mostly because networking felt out of alignment—like I was jamming a square peg in a round hole. The traditional, often aggressive, approach to networking left me feeling disconnected.

If this sounds like you, keep reading. I have some insights on why networking may feel misaligned for you—and how understanding masculine and feminine energies can help you find a more harmonious networking experience.

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Before we delve into masculine and feminine energies, let’s first answer this: What about networking feels “icky” to you?

Take out a sheet of paper and list all the reasons. There are no right or wrong answers; just listen to your heart and jot down what comes up.

Knowing why networking feels yucky will help you figure out how to “de-yuckify” networking for you. Look over your list. How many of these reasons are ones that can be changed, such as having to pay for lunch or driving to a meeting? If it can be changed, then change it!

Masculine and feminine energy

Some networking groups are steeped in masculine energy; others, feminine energy (while others, of course, mix both energies). Let’s break down how masculine and feminine energy can show up during networking:

• Masculine energy focuses on doing, often characterized by achievement, goal setting, and competition. It shows up when organizations require referrals or host competitions on how many guests a member brings to a meeting.
• Feminine energy focuses on being, often characterized by empathy, creativity, and vulnerability. Feminine energy can show up in networking meetings through inspirational speakers, agenda-less meetings, and workshops (instead of traditional networking meetings).

I have found that many women entrepreneurs crave more feminine energy in their networking. They love the conversations, connections, even the creative exercises, but balk at the rigid attendance policies or having to refer members’ businesses every week.

If this sounds like you, ask yourself: Have I been networking in an environment that doesn’t have enough feminine energy? If so, now you know what kind of networking groups you should look for. Conversely, you may be in a networking group with too much feminine energy for your taste. If that’s the case, seek a more masculine energy group and see if it feels better.

Find the right networking group

Now you have some information:

• A list of what felt icky about past networking experiences
• An idea of what kind of energy (masculine, feminine) you’d like in your networking experience

Armed with this information, search for right-fit groups. You may have to start by asking a fellow entrepreneur. When asking, be sure to specify your findings, something like, “I would like to attend a networking group for entrepreneurs that doesn’t have any referral or attendance requirements.” This will help your colleague point you in the right direction.

And, if you’re looking for a virtual networking experience that’s full of feminine energy (with a touch of masculine energy), please check out Virtual Networkers.

Networking is an essential part of building your know, like, trust factor, but you have to like your networking experience. Don’t settle. Find the right networking group for you, and you will discover that networking can be less icky and more illuminating!

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Here are other resources to support your networking journey:

Virtual Networkers: My global virtual networking organization for women entrepreneurs.

Weekly Connect Newsletter: Subscribe for networking and marketing tips, plus the upcoming week’s Virtual Networkers schedule.

Celestial Love Notes: Begin your free subscription to my daily inspirational emails, full of love and empowerment.

My Book, That First Client: Learn how to create an effective marketing system that will always attract clients to your business.

My Book, Loud Woman: Get inspired to be louder in your life and business.